So February 2017 was a pretty difficult month for your ‘ol pal here. I didn’t get around to making you guys a ‘favorite’s list’ for the month because my mind has been so preoccupied. February was just really hard for me.
To sum it up for you, I lost a very dear friend last month. I mean this was a person who feels like my brother. I am still grieving like I lost my brother. I am hoping with writing this, I can in some way share his sweet spirit with you- but also heal a little bit.
Now before I write anything else, let me tell you abut my friend. He and I met in preschool. We were three years old when we met! He had big brown eyes and was the funniest person I can remember from those days. After we graduated preschool we ended up going to the same elementary school where we were in each other’s class every year but for third grade.
We got split in middle school, but we reconnected because we were both in band…and played clarinet. (Until our teacher moved him to play oboe.) We then went on to be in the same classes all throughout high school. Now, granted, we didn’t run around with the same crowd- neither one of us really fit into one group, we both were friends with everyone. BUT we always had each other’s back. We could let our guard down with each other. We could speak openly and honestly with each other. We loved each other like we were siblings.
After graduation, we kept in touch through MySpace and then moved onto bigger and better things once everyone was allowed the use of Facebook. We had the kind of relationship that it didn’t matter how long we hadn’t seen each other, we picked up right were we last left off. We had the kind of friendship that only comes around once in a lifetime. I could always count on him- he knew he could always count on me.
That being said, fast-forward to February 2017 and my world was rocked. I found out that I had lost my longest and dearest friendship. This was a friendship that I had invested a lot of time and love into; and I found out about his loss on social media. When I read someone’s status about his passing, I literally had to fight to breath. I was shocked. I’m still shocked.
Granted, it’s still very real, it’s very raw…yesterday was a day that I cried again for my friend. I thought I had cried all of my tears. I cried because I posted my son’s monthly picture to social media, and my friend was always one to “like” my picture. I cried because he wasn’t going to like any more of my pictures. I cried because I wasn’t going to receive any more messages telling me how cute my little guy is. I cried because I am sad; I’m sad that my friend is no longer with me.
It’s crazy the way grief works. It’s crazy how realizing that one less “like” can make you cry all over again. It’s crazy how it can take a seeming less picture post, and make you feel all of the emotions you felt when you got the shocking news of losing your friend.
I am here to tell you though, I do have hope; I have hope in Jesus. One of the last conversations I had with my friend, I shared Jesus with him. I am happy to share Jesus with you, too. I feel like it is a way that I can honor my friend.
Jesus. Jesus loves you and all of your baggage. He loves you when you are mean. He loves you when you are sad. He loves your good, your bad, and your very ugly. Jesus loves you so much that he left a perfect paradise to walk among us- so he can sympathize with us. He loves you so much that he left his home, and made one among us, so he could feel what you feel. Jesus loves you so much that he died for you. He died so you can live!
All you have to do is whisper His name. He’s willing and ready to listen. He wants you to talk to him. He wants to bring you comfort, love, joy, and hope. Jesus loves. Jesus saves. Let me tell you, I am so thankful for that.
With the loss of my friend, I do feel like I need to take the time to tell his family how much I love them, and that I am still praying for them. You guys…you all are in so many good memories I have with Drew. I can’t thank you enough for encouraging and nurturing our friendship. I am so thankful that you’ve been able to share in so many incredible memories over the years. Thank you so much for letting Drew and me be friends. Thank you for teaching him how to love others, respect others, and invest in others. I am forever grateful for the memories I have with you guys, and our Drew-boy. I love you all, just as much as I love Drew.